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01 November 2008 @ 03:17 pm
You and I  
[Title] You and I
[length] one-shot
[pairing] JaeSu; YooSu; Jae-centric
[rating] G
[summary] They were close, they loved, he hated, he lost it all
[a/n] This is for Thea - purplehaze_33 / violetgurl33 
Angst isn't a very smart thing, but I hope you like it (:
// So uh, this was based on what I remembered what JaeSu being close before debut, but YooSu being closer after debut. Yadda, probably not very accurate but ^^

Italics refer to either Junsu, or YooSu yupp

Between you and I – we’ve lied enough to last our entire lives

He remembered the days where their laughter and shrieks echoed down the hallways of the esteemed academy – much to the chagrin of their mentors. Memories of them sharing a bento set from the budget takeaway minutes away from the academy were as cold, as hungry, and as peaceful as they once were. (I miss “us”)

Then came fame – fame with the glamorous life, fame with its own downsides. The bitter anger of being tossed aside because he was too old – I’m sorry hyung, but it’s just too weird – and the slow fight to claim him  back from the arms of a brother. He was so sorry, just so irate for having let go so easily as tears fell – I understand – tears that continued to fall, ever so quietly from his fractured heart. (I want “us”)

They stopped talking for so long – too long. They assumed that both would understand; that both would forget. Was time not supposed to heal? But he didn’t, he remembered. He recalled the tears, the sour taste it left behind. God, ohgod, he just could not stop hating – and hating, and hating, hating; hating, hating. And he could not stop, he never tried to hold back, never tried to forgive, never tried to forget. (I hate “us”)

He was weary of life – life and its cruel paradoxes – he wanted to stop, wanted to say goodbye. But he clung on, held on tight to fading memories of a previous life, forgot to make his own “present”, remembered to love his own “past”. Lying was his favourite pastime, so he lied some more, said it out loud – made it as real as he could. Insecure, pitiful, stupid – but he never stopped, never stopped hoping for more, hoping for something better (Never had “us”)

He knew – ohgod, he knew just how much he never wanted him – seeking love from such a beautiful, fickle being was as dumb as “dumb” ever was. Then they broke apart, so he hoped as the light at the end of the dark tunnel drew closer. He could not understand his actions – only wanted one thing – only thought of one thing. Drugged – just the dumb stupid drug that humans had named “love”. (I wanted you)

Remembered the crying, recalled the sense of helplessness, saw him everyday, ignored him. He was sorry, sorry for all the stupid things they had done together, sorry for sticking close to him for so long. Love, want, longing, disappointment, hate - jumbled into that big mess that he called Junsu. (No more, please)

Between you and I - we'd fill the world with unimaginable terror</lj></lj>
 
 
 
-purplehaze_33 on November 1st, 2008 07:49 am (UTC)
spot! :)
-purplehaze_33 on November 1st, 2008 07:52 am (UTC)
:(((

urgh, i wanna hug jaejae now, it's ok, bb, thea will comfort chu♥~
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 1st, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
:X too emo, much?

&hearts hope you're doing better in your studies!
-purplehaze_33 on November 1st, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
emo is understandable, most of my short pieces in the beginning were like that:)

-sigh-

i'm still struggling to find a balance between school and lj. seems like lj has become a huge part of my life and i didnt even realize it for so long.
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 2nd, 2008 01:23 pm (UTC)
AAAAH, I write too much angst - too much.

You can do it! I once was 'addicted' to LJ, so I ended up cutting off my time online to about an hour to just check through my flist and email. I'm sure you'll find yours soon! &hearts
Yunho's Honey Funny Bunnykuro_wolf on November 1st, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
Woah, i had to read it a few times cos i got lost. Hehehe, but i like the style of writing. (^_^)
Did Jae approach Su or just watched again?
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 1st, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
^^ I apologise for the confusion, I'm going to make a couple of changes (very minor ones though)
Even I'm sort of "huh" at what I wrote with the sudden disappearance of the lovely italics

Haha well, so Jae and Su were close at the start, but Su began to drift away towards Chun - so Jae's trying to understand, but instead just gets more frustrated. I'm sort of trying to chronicle what happened in a really brief manner, with the tone that Jaejoong has already given up on Junsu and ever having the both of them together again
emda: Jaesuemda on November 1st, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
so sad *sobs*
poor jaejoong... if junsu know how much influence he has on jaejoong.
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 2nd, 2008 01:25 pm (UTC)
&hearts -hands over tissue-
마리boojaesubabe on November 1st, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
That hurt :(

I demand that Su go back to Jaebaby now...don't leave someone who cares for you so much behind like that.

^___^
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 2nd, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
:X

Will pass the message on! &hearts
umai_jae_aiumai_jae_ai on November 1st, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC)
Ohh why is it always poor jaejoongie that ends up alone??? poor baby=[ really nice=]
angelicbuttons: Catangelicbuttons on November 2nd, 2008 01:27 pm (UTC)
:X because uh, YooSu seems more likely? ><

&hearts thank chu~
~♥Hope to the End. Always Keep the Faith♥~chloe1910 on November 2nd, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
*huggles Jae* T___T
angelicbuttonsangelicbuttons on November 3rd, 2008 10:17 am (UTC)
&hearts
한 다정kiomi_hakuri on November 3rd, 2008 06:21 pm (UTC)
wo... umma.. so deep.. and sad ._.
poor Jae .. and JunSu?
I don't know..
wooo so sad.. ;O;

thx fot thie.. I really liked =)
Kises <3

angelicbuttonsangelicbuttons on November 4th, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)
><

Personally, I'd go more for sympathising with Jae, ahaha

&hearts thank you!